Change Is in the Forecast

by Shana Montesol Johnson

Change has been on my mind lately. I am in the midst of a change, having moved from Asia to the USA nine months ago. My coaching clients – from those in international organizations to those in private sector start-ups – are also grappling with change. Some have landed big promotions and are making sense of new roles and taking on new identities. Others are contemplating making a change in role or employer or location, unsure of whether it’s the time to take a risk, and if so, what path to chart.

Even the weather seems to be struggling with change. Here in the Washington, DC area, spring is sure taking its sweet time in arriving. It’s as if winter refuses to give up its hold on us. The calendar may indicate that it is officially spring, but the chilly temperatures tell a different story.

Washington’s famous cherry blossoms seem confused this year — they made an unusually late appearance. When I tried to view them last month during the Cherry Blossom Festival, they were mere buds on trees. Ten days later, I made a determined return to the Tidal Basin, and hastily snapped this picture. Despite the beautiful blooms, snow was forecast for the next day.

We are in an in-between stage where it’s not really winter anymore, but spring has not fully arrived.

It reminds me of the “Neutral Zone” stage of personal and organizational change – that state of limbo where the old is gone but the new hasn’t become fully operational. The old ways don’t work anymore, yet the new ways don’t feel right, either. Change expert William Bridges called it a “nowhere between two somewheres.”

Have you found yourself in the neutral zone before? Maybe you finally landed that big promotion at work, and despite the external signs – you’ve taken on the new responsibilities, you’re leading a new team, you have new business cards with your snazzy new title – you just don’t feel fully at home yet in your new role. 

The neutral zone is a state of limbo, where it feels there is nothing to hold onto. It can be very disorienting, uncomfortable, and perplexing. 

In my work coaching clients, and in my own life, I’ve found it’s helpful just to know there is such a thing as the neutral zone. Over the past several months, I’ve been acclimating back to life in the US after living abroad for 13 years. The external changes are there – a new address, new clients, new neighbors – yet there is still an internal shift that takes longer to complete. Knowing this has helped me to adjust my expectations and go easy on myself.

On the days when I feel like the hashtag I made up (#immigrantinmyowncountry) or when it feels like I haven’t quite landed yet (even though I’ve been here for months), I try to remind myself that I’m in the midst of a neutral zone. It’s okay – even expected – to feel that way.

The upside? The neutral zone is a time of growth. It’s the time to ask questions that don’t have clear answers. It’s the time to get creative. It’s the time to take risks. It’s time to see what emerges.

If you are in a neutral zone of your own, or if you are heading into a change and know you will eventually encounter it, remember that it’s okay to feel a bit lost during that in-between time. Click here for some more ideas about how to make the most of the neutral zone.

And if you are contemplating a change, but feeling a bit stuck or unclear, you may be interested in my “What’s Next?” group coaching program

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3 New Ways to Practice Gratitude

by Shana Montesol Johnson

Hello from Arlington, Virginia, just outside of Washington, DC in the USA! As some of you may know, I relocated here a few months ago with my family, after spending 13 wonderful years in Asia. It’s been a big move for myself, my husband and two daughters, and my coaching and leadership development business! While “the transition” is still underway – and I will soon share some of my reflections and lessons learned on transition – there is much to be grateful for, particularly at this time of year. It is Thanksgiving here in the USA, and what better time to think about thankfulness? See my tips below on 3 New Ways to Practice Gratitude.

Here’s a video summary of this article, which you can watch by clicking below:

 

3 New Ways to Practice Gratitude

 

Gratitude has long been a topic of fascination for me. I’ve geeked out on the benefits of gratitude – better sleep, lower blood pressure, less depression, more joy, and even better attainment of goals. I’ve asked my kids so often at the dinner table, “What are you grateful for?” that now they ask me what the best part of my day was. (Parenting win!) I’ve also been known to invite my coaching clients to keep gratitude lists or gratitude journals.

Yet it’s also easy to stagnate in a gratitude practice. We start to recite by rote what we are thankful for: family, friends, health, job, a roof over our heads. The same answer every time. We take these for granted, which is pretty much the opposite of gratitude.

Since it can be helpful to mix it up, here are 3 new ways to practice gratitude:

  1. Silver Linings Challenge. Think of something you have been complaining about, or something that is making you unhappy. What can you appreciate about it? What is good about this situation?When I lived in the Philippines, I often found myself spending hours in the car, stuck in Manila’s legendary traffic. The silver lining? It gave me ample opportunity to listen to audiobooks and podcasts. Thanks to the epic traffic, I was exposed to numerous books, interviews, and articles that I otherwise would not have taken the time to listen to or read – and I learned a ton.This practice is not about minimizing or denying difficulty, but making room for appreciation. And the more we tap into gratitude, the more our perspective begins to shift, and that annoying person/situation has less power over us.
  2. Advance Appreciation. We usually express gratitude for what others have done for us, or for good things that have come into our lives. How about giving thanks for things that haven’t happened yet? Surely this will shift our mindset into gratitude.For example, earlier this year, there was a lot of uncertainty (and accompanying stress and anxiety) around my family’s move to the US. Where would we live? Would we find a house that we liked and could afford in a good location? What schools would our kids attend? I started giving thanks for our future house, neighborhood, and schools – before we knew the answers to any of those questions. (This practice didn’t erase my stress and anxiety altogether, but it did help me focus on the positive.) And now, months later, they have all appeared.
  3. Take Note of the Trivial. When we are asked what we are thankful for, we tend to think of the big things – family, friends, job, health, freedom – but what about the little things? Making a practice of noting 5 or 10 seemingly trivial things that we are thankful for can help shift our radar towards more things to appreciate in our daily lives. Here are some of mine:

the smell of coffee brewing

the stranger who held the door open for me as I entered the store

sleeping in on a Saturday morning

a pen that writes smoothly

Post It notes in a rainbow of colors (ok, you can tell I’m into office supplies!)

finding one last mini Twix bar in the leftover Halloween candy

my favorite pair of shoes

my daughter offering to set the table without being asked

a beautiful sunset

technology that enables me to stay connected with family, friends, and clients (this one is actually not trivial!)

And here’s a bonus super-easy Gratitude Practice:

Password Prompt. Set your password (for your email, computer or phone, bank account, etc.) to a word or phrase that will remind you to take a moment to be grateful. It’s a stealthy way to get more thankfulness into your daily life.

I invite you to try just one of these practices, and see what comes up. Let me know if you do! Feel free to drop me an email at shana (at) developmentcrossroads (dot) com.

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9 networking tips for field-based global development professionals

This article originally appeared on Devex.com. I wanted to be sure that the Development Crossroads community had access to it as well. We’ve all heard how important networking is to the success of our career. But how can you network if you’re based in the field, far away from key decision-makers or unable to attend […]

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New Year’s Resolution: To De-stress

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The 3 Reasons to Get a Life (Outside of Work)

Sure, it’s important to be happy at work. But if we look to our jobs as our sole source of satisfaction and joy, we can end up very unhappy indeed. In this installment of the Happy at Work blog series, I share 3 reasons why getting a life outside of work can help you be […]

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To Succeed at Work, Channel Your Inner Diva

What do you need to perform, work and/or be at your best? A few years ago, pop singer Jennifer Lopez made news for reportedly insisting that the hotel suites where she stayed while touring conform to the following demands: bedsheets must be Egyptian cotton with a thread count of at least 250, walls and furnishings […]

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Happy at Work

Happy International Day of Happiness! Today (March 20, 2013) is the first-ever International Day of Happiness, as proclaimed by the United Nations last year, “recognizing the relevance of happiness and well-being as universal goals and aspirations in the lives of human beings around the world.” It makes me happy that there is now such a […]

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6 Reasons You Should Dump Your New Year’s Resolutions (and 3 Steps to a Great 2013)

Did you start off 2013 with some New Year’s resolutions? And how are those working out for you? If your resolutions have crashed and burned, fizzled out, or never got off the ground, you are not alone. Research shows that 88% of New Year’s resolutions fail. What is wrong with New Year’s resolutions? Here are […]

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